11.15.2010

Tuesday Train..with some Tears

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It's another Tuesday Train link up.. and my train ride is tearful.... I guess I am in kind of a shock state right now.. and am venting into cyberspace... Ok.. I am an adrenaline junkie.. constantly moving around..working..flitting..floating... I also have Lupus..(and NO.. I take not a single thing for it!) I do not wallow in knowing I have this.. I get a flare...and maybe I can convince myself to go to the docs before I go into acute kidney failure and get a Metrol pack or something... I have had a silent heart attack.. I have cardiomyopathy... MVP.yada yada... 2 weeks ago.. I go to the Chiro.. my backs been kind of bugging me.. so..after the xray..the First thing out of his mouth is "Now.. I don't want you to think you are a freak..." Ok.. WT ?#@!  Come to find out..I have EXTRA bones... yes.. these tiny little extra guys along my vertebrae.. along with finding out my right leg is shorter than my left.. I have a spur.. bulging  and herniated disc..and sacralization.. My L5 vertebrae has fused with my S1.  Oh Joy... Oh Rapture... so more fun begins.. In the midst of all this.. I figure.. lets FINALLY kick out all your labs, xrays etc.. since I just turned 40.. so I go for the mammo.  Well... I have this bad bad habit.. of never answering my phone.. let alone listening to the voice mails... so tonight.. I decide to listen.... It is the radiology center... "could i please return their phone call regarding my procedure last week?"  Again WT?#@!  It is 7:50pm... I dial faster than lightening.. the receptionist confirms I am me.. and asks if I spoke with my primary yet since they have already faxed him the results.. well no I say.. his office is closed today.  They kindly tell me to get in touch with him and after I speak with him to call them back because the radiologist wants more films and tests.... Ok.. can I come up for air for a minute..?  I know I shouldn't panic... but I am overwhelmed... I am here on the East with no family members... (they are the smart ones..out West!) a marriage that is rocky..rocky ..rocky... and not to mention he is not Mr. Emotional.  And because of this rocky marriage..the friend category has been practically destroyed.  So I am stuck with me.. my computer.. my 22 psychotic patients...and by the grace of God I am fortunate enough to be able to escape to my sanity.... The Ocean.
So.. I hopped on the train today... I am hoping I don't crash!
Thanks for letting me vent...
Peace out....
Cricket



5 comments:

  1. That's awful! The waiting has to be excruciating. I'm so sorry. Keep us posted. I'll be holding my breath with you.

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  2. o hun! keep us posted! hopefully something good will come out of this!

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  3. OMG, I can totally understand your anxiety!!! The waiting-to-know time is awful...we're in your corner so let us know what's happening. A trip to the sea seems like a good idea...it'll get you looking for home on the horizon.
    Becky (beachsnaps)

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  4. I'm your newest follower from the Tuesday Blog Hops! Come check out my blog at: http://adventuresofathriftymommy.blogspot.com/ While you are there don't forget to check out my LOW Entry giveaways!

    Have a great day!

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  5. We welcome venting all the time. It's how we release our frustrations. You should try the Fawk You Friday hop with me and Boobies, Babies, & A Blog. We would love to have you.

    Thanks for joining us for the Train ride. Have a great week!

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