It's another Tuesday Train link up.. and my train ride is tearful.... I guess I am in kind of a shock state right now.. and am venting into cyberspace... Ok.. I am an adrenaline junkie.. constantly moving around..working..flitting..floating... I also have Lupus..(and NO.. I take not a single thing for it!) I do not wallow in knowing I have this.. I get a flare...and maybe I can convince myself to go to the docs before I go into acute kidney failure and get a Metrol pack or something... I have had a silent heart attack.. I have cardiomyopathy... MVP.yada yada... 2 weeks ago.. I go to the Chiro.. my backs been kind of bugging me.. so..after the xray..the First thing out of his mouth is "Now.. I don't want you to think you are a freak..." Ok.. WT ?#@! Come to find out..I have EXTRA bones... yes.. these tiny little extra guys along my vertebrae.. along with finding out my right leg is shorter than my left.. I have a spur.. bulging and herniated disc..and sacralization.. My L5 vertebrae has fused with my S1. Oh Joy... Oh Rapture... so more fun begins.. In the midst of all this.. I figure.. lets FINALLY kick out all your labs, xrays etc.. since I just turned 40.. so I go for the mammo. Well... I have this bad bad habit.. of never answering my phone.. let alone listening to the voice mails... so tonight.. I decide to listen.... It is the radiology center... "could i please return their phone call regarding my procedure last week?" Again WT?#@! It is 7:50pm... I dial faster than lightening.. the receptionist confirms I am me.. and asks if I spoke with my primary yet since they have already faxed him the results.. well no I say.. his office is closed today. They kindly tell me to get in touch with him and after I speak with him to call them back because the radiologist wants more films and tests.... Ok.. can I come up for air for a minute..? I know I shouldn't panic... but I am overwhelmed... I am here on the East with no family members... (they are the smart ones..out West!) a marriage that is rocky..rocky ..rocky... and not to mention he is not Mr. Emotional. And because of this rocky marriage..the friend category has been practically destroyed. So I am stuck with me.. my computer.. my 22 psychotic patients...and by the grace of God I am fortunate enough to be able to escape to my sanity.... The Ocean.
So.. I hopped on the train today... I am hoping I don't crash!
Thanks for letting me vent...
Peace out....
Cricket
That's awful! The waiting has to be excruciating. I'm so sorry. Keep us posted. I'll be holding my breath with you.
ReplyDeleteo hun! keep us posted! hopefully something good will come out of this!
ReplyDeleteOMG, I can totally understand your anxiety!!! The waiting-to-know time is awful...we're in your corner so let us know what's happening. A trip to the sea seems like a good idea...it'll get you looking for home on the horizon.
ReplyDeleteBecky (beachsnaps)
We welcome venting all the time. It's how we release our frustrations. You should try the Fawk You Friday hop with me and Boobies, Babies, & A Blog. We would love to have you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining us for the Train ride. Have a great week!