An Angel Sent in Blogworld

Many of you have known..or have read through the course of my blog or on FB that I am in the midst of
a divorce.  It is a long overdue one and unfortunately there are 2 children involved.
(I can't believe that I am writing all this!)
So.... for all of Cricket's getaways to Florida...the reasoning behind it was because I have to get out of the
area I am in.  I never liked it here..it is "his" hometown.  I have his ex's and his other children to contend with.
And is relentless forever interfering family. To make matters worse he has sabotaged my all of my friendships.  So I am left with no one here. None of my family lives in the Northeast. And I have been lost. If it weren't for my job....I don't think I would have survived. Now that too I am going to lose because I can't stay in this area. I cannot deal with the "running" into people, seeing stuff I don't want to see...and I am a Gypsea Mermaid...and I need my water. Not snow. It is also a double edged sword because I don't want to be married, but I cannot handle seeing him with someone else.  And this past trip in Florida. While I was gone...Not only did he renig on his agreement to let me take the kids out of state...I JUST SIGNED THE CONTRACTS for the condo this trip! I find out that he brought his "girlfriend" (one I did not know about)
to my house..to see my kids... and his comment was...
"I wanted to see if they liked her."
I no longer have the emotional capability, mental or financial to play war in the courts with him.
I am beaten down.
Yesterday I thought my life was over, I couldn't stop crying...I saw red. Literally. I could not believe he could really stoop that low. Yes..I will admit, I have done some shitty things in this marriage. There is NO doubt about that. But I did not..ruin friendships, try to ruin his career, or leave him ever alone in  hospital like he did me..(if you remember my spinal surgery) Yes... he went to work that day.  I had to have a friend from High School take me. 
Now yesterday I had to take an excruciating exam, a Functional capability one that took a few hours and wrecked havoc on my spine.  But I needed to to be able to return to work.  And my mind is churning..I am losing my kids, my home, my job....I was scared, and I was tired. I was 2 seconds away from saying you know what...? I do NOT want this life anymore. And the wheels started to turn into dark horrible places...
I just couldn't stop them. The pain is overwhelming... everywhere I turned I imagined this pig he brought into a place that was once a home...I thought about my kids sitting with her..I thought about how he is out with MY ex best friend... I just wanted out.
Maybe crash the car..I don't know... I was beyond a point of rational. I wanted the HURT GONE!
I opened the door.
Nearly tripped and busted my back up again.
Because there is a GOD.
I am not a Holy roller...
Nor do I or will I preach to you about what you should believe in.
I know what I do..and right now that is all that matters.
So of course I need to bring this in.
I was not expecting anything.
I open it up.

I start reading the card.

Is there a stronger word for them?
A down pour.
I didn't know what to think anymore.... I have been told for 14 years how horrible and useless I am.
I am nothing. I am selfish. A liar. A bitch.
And I am now reading this card that starts with:
"I just wanted to say thank you for your friendship and support and honesty.
You have such a free spirit that I admire and I know that you can overcome the bad that has been hovering over you...."
When I tell you... I looked up..and said...Dear God...how? how did you know to do this? How did you know to send this angel to me?
The card went on and on.
This person told me that when she saw this:
That she thought of me. And that she "hopes and pray that it leads you to your dreams and of course that pirate that is drifting out at sea waiting for you!:) ....keep it close and never let go of your dreams..."
I am crying now.
I still hurt,the pain is still as bad.... 
But this person...never met me. 
Not once.
She is a fellow blogger.
Well... you saw how large that box was, so it didn't just hold a stone and compass.
It also had this wrapped inside:

Now you know I nearly died....
This beautiful person wrote:
" I also wanted you to have this mermaid. I have had her for a while but sadly she sits alone where no one can see her beauty...I know that she would be happier in a new place, perhaps in Florida where she is closer to home."
I was shaking beyond belief.
My world moments before was about to end.  I wanted it to end. Because I have been conditioned to believe I was and am nothing. That no one loves me or ever will. That my kids will be taken away.
On top of that being a Psych Nurse, I was also fully aware that my thoughts were erratic... irrational,
dark and fearsome. I was not in a stable nor normal state of mind. And yes...that "husband" may see this.. and say.."look I will use this against you in court!" sadly.... he will fight a wall.
I will not participate.
But here...
This woman who I absolutely adore.
Her talent, her humor, HER honesty.... who we would both occasionally send private emails to..just looking out for one another...
That she took the time...actually was "THINKING" about me....
And from across the country literally saved me.
I never thought in a million years I would ever "really" find happiness again.. or friendship. My walls are built, my trust is gone. 
And through this computer...this blog..another thing I am yelled at for and ridiculed at home for..
Is the one thing that brought me to the things I thought were lost forever.
I hope she forgives me.
Because I am writing this post first before I even let her know that I received her gift.
I couldn't at the time.
I was too overwhelmed.
But I will tell you...
If you are not familiar..or have never seen her blog.
Not because of what she did for me.
But because of who SHE is...
What SHE is about...
Her talent and quirkiness...
The way she'll make you oohh and ahhhh..
And smile.
Michelle from Emerald Cove
She is a godsend..a beautiful person inside and out.
And you will not be disappointed in reading her posts.
And Michelle....
Thank you is not nor ever will be enough for what you did...
And the timing.
You are an angel.
As you said to me:
Peace, Love and Hugs...
I wish that tenfold for you.
If I could pick a sister, a best friend in life...
It would be you.
I love ya girl....
Now this Mermaid really is underwater with tears...
This time of faith and happiness.
PS: does the compass come with directions to Pirate land?;)
Also linking up with Sarah's Good Life Wednesday's
Because I think this pretty much takes the cake!


  1. The Universe looks out for everyone. I too had an angel who reached out to me during a very dark time in my life. I may not comment much on your blog but know this- I too care. I wish I could tell you it's all going to be fine. It's going to be hard and difficult but on the other side of it you will find the person inside you buried. Love and Hugs- Laura

  2. Oh Cricket, I am thanking God for reaching out to you and sending Michelle's kindness and encouragement at just the moment you needed help. When my husband died suddenly 6 years ago, I too wanted to escape and like you, I contended with some pretty dark thoughts. But now, years later, the sun is shining again and it will for you too. A large part of the battles we face are in our minds. Lies can torment, but they are LIES and we have to stand against them. I will be praying for you as you continue to face this difficult situation. I am so sorry you are hurting so badly. You are valuable, loved, and God has a purpose for your life so don't give up. We women are STRONG and I have determined in my own life to never again let a man crush me. Don't let a man crush you either!! Sending you a BIG hug and praising God for His faithfulness to you in your dark hour.
    xoxo ... Lynn

  3. sorry to hear your sad story . my thoughts are with you today..it will get better. hang in there!
    michelle is so lovely.
    love cheryl x
    thanks for stopping by my blog!

  4. Michelle really is an angel and lifts my spirits on a regular basis! I cannot say that I've been in your shoes yet I've felt as you have about not wanting to go on anymore in the life that I was in at the time. Sometimes we have to hit bottom in order to rise up which I KNOW you will do! I sit here crying for you and often think of you and wonder how you are doing. You are not alone on this newest journey - there are many of us that love your spirit, your honesty and laughter which you provide. I love you for the wondrous individual that you are. Big hugs, kisses and all that silly stuff from Washington. You take care of YOURSELF, Cricket...you are so important to so many of us.

  5. How wonderful that an angel came to you in such a sweet and endearing way. Angels always come to us when we are feeling our lowest. They always lift us up and let us know we are loved and worthy.

    I cannot imagine anyone saying or feeling bad things about you. You show so much openess, honesty and love here on your blog.

    I'm hoping and praying that all of this will pass for you and that you will be on the road to the happy life of a mermaid.


  6. From a fellow non-holy-roller, yep you were meant for Michelle to send that at just this moment. I went through a painful divorce several years ago, hit bottom (had those dark thoughts) and came out stronger and happier. It's like the sea's tide cleansing the shore.... I know I just 'met' you during the OWOH event but in the little I knew you through winning your gifts I admire you greatly. You are such a free spirited soul. Please stay strong; you are loved by many. Have you looked into a pro bono lawyer for help?

  7. Oh sweetie, I know how hard it is to see past the muck and you are deep in it! You are seeing evidence of beauty and love -- it is actually showing up in little packages in your box. Remember that the actions of one person is not a complete picture of how the world truly is. Do your best not to let him and those he keeps company with to rent space in your beautiful head. Let these gifts that you receive fill you with love. Take extremely good care of yourself FIRST and this will give you the strength and love to live the life you are meant to be. You are a beautiful woman! Much love to you.

  8. Hi Cricket. I just stumbled into your heartfelt post on my way to give you the Versatile Blogger Award, hon.

    Always, always, always know that there is always a tomorrow. Your kids love you, and no matter what your almost ex does and says isn't going to sway their opinion of you, but will most definitely reflect badly upon him one day. Be strong for them, as well as for yourself. You can't let the stress of the situation make you sick now, you have too much to do girl! (My SLE flares badly when I stress) Get yourself moved down here to beautiful, sunny Florida, and if you aren't bringing your kids with you, they can visit! It will make your time together that much sweeter!

    Big, gentle, hugs.

  9. I forgot to leave the link....


  10. Hey Cricket, First, I am so sorry for your pain. I too have been where you are, where it feels so hopeless.I have BP2. Michelle is an angel and a wonderful human being, I am so glad you have her in your life. This is truly an amazing and inspirational story.Stay strong my friend, YOU WILL BE STRONGER THAN EVER! I wish you all the best! Linda

  11. Hi sweetie! You are so welcome and you don't ever have to apologize. I should say thank you for this beautiful post, tears stream down my face. I meant what I said in the card, you are beautiful, caring, honest and a great friend and don't let anyone EVER tell you anything different. I love you dearly sweet friend and I know some how, some way you will find your happiness again. We are all here for you, you have a blogland full of friends and support. :)
    Now I will go look for the directions to Pirate Land so we can get you there a bit quicker! ;)
    Take care of you!! Many hugs to you!!!

  12. Sweetie you are loved by so many here in blogland. Don't let him overtake you in this because that is what domineering personalities want. Breathe before you do anything and share what you want and keep to yourself what you need to because we are here for you and your beautiful spirit. Please don't give up. I'm on my way to Emerald Cove...my birthstone...lol...Much love.

  13. I am so sorry Cricket for you, hearing what you've been through recently. I think divorce is one of the single most difficult things a person can go through, even if it's welcomed so to speak. It's been compared to losing someone in death, so it's no wonder you felt the way you did. Michelle is one of the kindest, most loving people I've met, and I too am one of those who are ever so grateful to have her come into my life. It's funny because when I started my blog, I noticed this very sweet lady who always came to comment. No matter how boring my post was, she always had a positive reply. So I knew as soon as I saw the items in the box who it was who sent them to you. And I"m not at all surprised, and such a thoughtful gift. xxx tami

  14. Michelle is one of my friends, too, so I know what a lovely angel she is, Cricket...I'm so happy that she reached out to you in this very real way...blogging words are one thing but sending a physical card and package is quite another!!! I'll have to buzz over to her place and commend her.

  15. Hey girl, just thought I would stop by and see how you are doing. I am so sorry to hear that all of this is going on in your life right now. I know there will be many times as you are going through this that you will feel like you are on the edge, but do the best you can to hang in there and always remember your children…….. DO NOT let him win the battle of life. Don’t let him have the option to tell your children lies that you will never be able to correct in their life, because that is something that will affect them for life. I am so glad that you were able to see that there are and will always be angels to help you in your darkest hour. Try to take it a day at a time and be strong for your girls.

    Take care and let me know how you are doing. I will keep you in my thoughts.

    Love & Hugs, CindyLew
    Email me if you want to talk. CindyLewsStudio@Gmail.Com

  16. Oh my Dear Cat... I am so happy that Michelle's delightful Package came at just the right time! Know that any negativity directed your way is not from the Source... you are fearfully and wonderfully made... and Loved more than you realize... and not just in this realm my Friend!

    Yes, the mind can take us to some dark places, but thank God for His Light that illuminates the Truth... and sends Earth Angels to Minister to us at just the right time. Your shared Story has really touched my Heart and it is much to bear... but you are not carrying the weight alone... our Prayers are with you and your precious children. I do believe the move and a fresh start will give you more Peace and I'm sending positive vibes your way...

    A big Bohemian Hug... With Love and Friendship... Dawn... The Bohemian

  17. I followed the link from BeachKat, loved the translucent glass at the top, and then became just immersed in the story---sometimes things and people just APPEAR when they're most needed.

    I think this may be a MerAngel, with her wings concealed beneath her hair.

    I wish you well in your fresh start, your new home wherever you choose, and a whole bright beginning for wonderful things.


    whose veins hold mostly muddy Mississippi River water

  18. Take a deep breath, you have been touched by an angel my dear!

  19. I hate to hear that you are having to go through all of this stress. Michelle is such a sweet person. She had great timing in sending you that gift! She makes me smile each time I visit her. I hope things get better for you and you find the path that is meant for you. Hugs :)

  20. I'm so sorry about your divorce and other losses. I'm living with my husband in name only because it is what we can afford now. I'm waiting till my daughter is out of High School to sell my home and separate. My daughter is 13 and going into 8th grade so I have 5 more years. If a miracle happens and my business takes off, then I'll leave earlier. I'll never be able to take over the house payments.

    I can relate to the hospital complaint. When I told my husband that my ob thinks I'm going to go into labor soon he said ok I'll work late since I probably won't work tomorrow. Then I had to pick him up cause his car was in the shop. Essh! Everything changed after my daughter was born. You hear about such stuff..but it really happened.

    I hope you find happiness in Florida. You are smart to start over somewhere new. I'm heartbroken, for you, that he won't let the children go with you. I hope you can fight that.


  21. Hello Cricket, I am so sorry to hear of your pain, but you have put so beautifully int words the journey of salvation that Michelle has helped you to begin...She indeed, must be your angel...I stumbled upon your post through Pink Saturday and I am humbled...I will be thinking of you and hoping that things do become easier for you. That man seems to use ridicule of others to make himself feel as though he is better...those around him will come to suffer...feel bad for them and better for your self for getting out of the situation. The children...that is something that will have to work itself out I know, and none of us can give advise where we don't really have knowledge except to say we are on your side! Pinkim from TrulySimplyPink

  22. Hi, Cat!! How wonderful to have seen you the other day...so sorry I didn't recognize you, I guess old age is catching up with..I read some of your blog pages..I'm sorry you are going through so much..believe me things will get better...as each day comes ...how beautiful is that mermaid you received from Michelle...that was so very sweet of her.. Hope we can get together soon..and keep that charm on your bracelet close to you. (you know the one you showed me). So Glad to have seen you again..Let's get together soon. Walk forward, Head High and LAUGH UNTIL IT HURTS!!!

  23. What a sad story. It sounds like you have no where to go but up! My best wishes to you.

  24. Wow. What an incredible story. There really are angels. Thank you for sharing.


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