Finally able to get it out!

ok.. I meant to post this late Tuesday night or atleast Wednesday morning for Sarah's but you know, Dilaudid here and there can make you a little woozy!
But I wanted to post it for that particular blog party
Cause you know what?
No joke!
When I say I have been through some serious illness, I am not kidding.
But this?
I know it was necessary..
But inhumane I say.... most gut wrenching, want to die, don't ever think you will make it out alive type of pain.
(let us not forget my lovely situations on the outskirts of this...)
So.. the morning of the 20th.. I head on out to 
I got my PAT's done.. donated all my own blood, cardia clearance, blah blah blah... and here I am waiting in pre-op.
ok. I am the ONLY surgery that day...and I am waiting..waiting.. then who should appear, but my lovely PA who works with my spinal surgeon, who has always been there, answered every question. closed my up my last surgery in January. But the day before surgery she calls me and says that she WILL NOT be there tomorrow. I held back my tears. (to me this was not good karma) but I accepted it.
NOW HERE SHE IS IN PRE-OP. She couldn't stay for surgery.. but purposely went to the hospital, scrubbed, gowned.. just to see me off! Now if that is not patient dedication, I do not know what is.
She works with my hero 

Dr.Steven Kirshner who is part owner of the  Spine Institute in NJ with another amazing nero surgeon, Dr. Joan O'Shea.  Their website is amazing. Dr. Kirshner is the first doc in the State of NJ to perform artificial disc replacements when the FDA approved them. My disc is the PRODISC-L clicking on that link will gives you ooodles of info!

Here is a brief pic of what was placed 
to my L5-S1 area of spine.
I know a lot of you out their have back pain, 
(no worries, this video is NOT gory!)

This morning was not good for me, I was worried about my dad.. even as an EX OR, trauma adrenaline junkie nurse... I was scared shitless!
Even more so, when after 5, yes % attempts, the nurses could not get a line in me.. so lucky anesth. came to rescue.. and even HE had a hard time.. where I finally burst and was like.."give it to me!!!!" I'll do it!"  Needless to say... the line went in perfectly.
sorry, had to add a little Halloween ghoul for this photo!

Now Kirsher shows up...
(excuse my ugliness..and I do NOT have a double chin! I have a soon to be ex who wanted to torture me and make me look horrid! LOL!
Yep.. he is calm as a cucumber... we are just waiting on the vascular surgeon..and now they have to hook up wires to my TEDS to test all my spinal nerves/control.
Beautiful huh?
Although about 9 hours later.. there were more tiny holes you can't see here..well they ALL enlarged to about 2-4 inches with about 3 inches highly edematous skin trying to plow through.. a BP of 94/52.. and me telling 2 frightened young RN's.. stop worrying about me being a nurse.. DO YOUR JOB! I am not here to grade you, criticize you, I just want to be pain free and have a smoke..now PLEASEEEEEEEE call the surgeon.
Within 10 minutes..I was stabilized.

This is what we want to see! (above!)

Thank goodness!
Also thanks to this handy dandy pump.
All in all, I hear it was a very successful surgery, although all my spinal nerves at the end were fried and I still do not have that feeling left on the right side of my foot or toes. I can't cough or bend over.
It hurts like hell.
I reallyt wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy.
But in the long wrong, if it works.. it works.
Just hard to believe 2 surgeries in 8 months.
Now I have to rethink my whole nursing career.
A lot to think about.
You all haven't heard the nightmare
the DAY BEFORE surgery.
This mermaid may NOT be going to Florida.
Do to working for the State (not Florida)
and them being ass backwards... screwing up everything of my mine..
pay, benefits.. etc. and then living with someone I have no right to ask 
"for help"
nor would he give it.
But unless I hit that little lotto by the 1st.
This mermaid is hanging up her tail.
I guess that is a super great birthday present huh?
Anyhow.. just wanted to FINALLY check in.
I am still alive.
Making it slowly.
And will be back and running I hope in no time!
Thank you all....
For all your wonderful comments...private text's 
I love you all!
And without you, 
I could not have done this!
Had to add this..
I asked him,
"Why can't we put 
guess you can imagine the look I got!


  1. OMG!!! I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that and I pray to God that this works for you!! That surgery is certainly interesting and kind of cool that they can do that. I am glad that you are out and hopefully resting at home. Get better fast dear mermaid and then tackle the other crap that is going on.
    Many hugs to you sweet mermaid!!
    And Happy Early birthday!!!

  2. I'm so glad it is over and you are on the mend! Take very good care of yourself so that you can heal! I'm off to see what wishes you are dreaming up in your latest post! I'm keeping you in my prayers! ♥

  3. I am so happy to hear that all is well despite some very challenging and difficult times for you. So nice that you are able to keep your positivity and humor in place. Good for you. I wish you a very speedy recovery!


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